Mingle2 - Philadelphia Singles
We are in the process of moving. My husband retired this year, I moved my office, we are building a house, and we're changing churches. As much as I am excited about the move, it has never been easy for me to let go of the familiar and comfortable. I am usually not much of a risk taker! Life has been good where we are, and while the sacrifice I am making doesn't seem as extreme as others I have made in my life, it is still a sacrifice. Surrendering the future is required of all of us as Christians. We really don't know what tomorrow holds. So, today, I surrender my position and status for the unknown. My prayer is that God will continue to use me and help me to find a place of ministry in my "new" life.
"Jesus, on earth, never created something from nothing. Jesus used water that was already there to make wine...a fish's mouth to deliver a coin to pay Caesar's tax...fed 5 thousand by taking bread, breaking it and distributing it to all around. God has a way of meeting people when they are hanging by a thread and then asking them for more rope.
Two key principles:
1. Surrender of what you have is always required.
2. Whatever you offer up is going to change form.
The resources you begin with will not be recognizable to you when you are through."
Jesus, Life Coach - Laurie Beth Jones (p. 194).
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased." Hebrews 13:15
There was some interesting research this week about how spouses who fight live longer. John Gottman, a leading marriage researcher, has classified what he calls "master couples." A master couple is a couple who has stayed married and still kind of like each other. He says that couples who are "masters" don't fight less than other couples, but they have learned how to repair their fights and how to exit fights. Check out Gottman's book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to read more about successful couples.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. ~George Jean Nathan
One way to get rid of stress is to take a vacation! I may not be posting much this week because I'll be in Cancun for a week! I know...poor me!
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In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19b-20
"Anger stuns. It frightens. It makes people feel bad about themselves. And of course it warns them to stop doing whatever is offending you. But people gradually become injured and resistant. As soon as they see you, they put on their emotional armor in preparation for the next upset. The more anger you express, the less effective your anger becomes, the less you are listened to, and the more cut off you may begin to feel from genuine closeness." When Anger Hits - McKay.
Christians often think that anger is a bad thing...that we shouldn't feel anger. Read Ephesians 4:26-27 again. It doesn't say don't get angry - it says, "don't sin in your anger." Anger is a normal human emotion. It is a signal that something is wrong. When I talk to clients about anger I give them the picture of putting their hand on a hot stove. The pain causes a signal from the brain that says, "take your hand off the stove....it's hot!!!" We need pain in order to keep us safe. The signal is healthy. Anger is healthy too - how we express our anger is what gets us in trouble!
Here are some suggestions for expressing your anger in a healthy way.
1. Learn to say no. Sometimes we set ourselves up to get angry because we say yes when we should be saying no to unrealistic demands from others. Check out my post on our responsibility to say no if you have trouble with this one.
2. Use your anger as a motivator. When we get angry it is usually because of some injustice or something we feel is unfair. Think about Rosa Parks or the founder of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers M.A.D.D. They used their anger to change things.
3. Give yourself a time out. Try holding your breath for 10 seconds...it take oxygen to maintain anger...holding your breath will keep you from exploding.
4. Do something physical. Years ago, when women had to beat rugs and men built their own houses, humans had daily physical activities to relieve their stress and take out their frustrations. Today we live very sedentary lifestyles that don't give us a way to discharge our negative energy.
5. Use a sounding board. Find a friend to talk to about what happened, but be careful that you choose someone who won't fuel your anger by reminding you of all the other things you should be angry about.
It happened again this week in a counseling session. A woman told me that her husband complained that she always put the kids first. I said, “Really?” and she replied, “I get so tired of hearing that!” I think she wanted me to agree with her that kids should come first…that her husband was being unreasonable. Unfortunately I’ve seen too many marriages fail because of inattention, so we talked about how to make her marriage a priority.
Having a baby is a joyous experience, but the shift from spouse to parent can be difficult! All of sudden the new parents have a little being that they love more than life and that demand all of their attention. Moms are hard wired to put their babies needs first so that they will survive, and dads feel an urgency to work hard and support their growing family. All of that leaves the marriage on the back burner…where it often stays even as the demands of a new baby lessen. Both husband and wife are doing more, talking less, and feeling under appreciated.
So, how do you make your marriage a priority when the demands of family life are great? Here are five suggestions for making your marriage the best it can be in 2008.
Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.
