Monday, October 26, 2009

Marriage Monday

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

One of the most important features of successful couple relationships is the quality of the friendship. Do you know your partner's inner world? Take the quiz below and find out.

1. I can name my partner's best friends. yes no
2. I know what stresses my partner is currently facing. yes no
3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately. yes no
4. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams. yes no
5. I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life. yes no
6. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least. yes no
7. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well. yes no
8. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. yes no
9. I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately. yes no
10. My partner really respects me. yes no
11. There is fire and passion in this relationship. yes no
12. Romance is definitely still part of our relationship. yes no
13. My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship. yes no
14. My partner generally likes my personality. yes no
15. Our sex life is mostly satisfying. yes no
16. At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me. yes no
17. My partner is one of my best friends. yes no
18. We just love talking to each other. yes no
19. There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions. yes no
20. My partner listens respectfully, even when we disagree. yes no
21. My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver. yes no
22. We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life. yes no

Your score:
15 or more yes answers: You have a lot of strength in your relationship. Congratulations!

8 to 14: This is a pivotal time in your relationship. There are many strengths you can build upon but there are also some weaknesses that need your attention.

7 or fewer: Your relationship may be in serious trouble. If this concerns you, you probably still value the relationship enough to try to get help.

This quiz highlights elements of what Dr. Gottman refers to as your "love map." In his workshops, Dr. Gottman discusses the step-by-step process of making sure that you nurture your friendship with your partner. In a survey of 200 couples attending a weekend workshop, Dr. Gottman found that the best predictor of passion and romance in a relationship guessed it...the quality of the friendship!
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