Monday, August 13, 2007

Marriage Roles

Working women in my counseling practice often complain that their spouses don't help much around the house. It has long been assumed that housework is "women's" work, even when the woman is holding down a full time job outside of the house. The interesting thing is, that it is not just the men that think housework is "women's" work. Many times the women themselves feel a lot of guilt when they can't do it all. Sometimes I jokingly ask these women, "Wouldn't you love to have a wife like you?" They usually smile and nod their heads imagining having a wife who would take care of them the way that they take care of their husbands and families. Then I ask..."Would you treat your imaginary wife the way your family treats you?" They all say "of course not, I would appreciate them and all that they do!" I gently continue..."why would you have more respect for your imaginary wife than you do for yourself?" The light bulb comes on...they need to be assertive, ask for help, and stop feeling guilty that they can't do it all.

Shira Boss of the International Herald Tribune had an interesting article today entitled Women wedded to work - and needing a wife at home.

Wouldn't you love to have a wife?!

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